THE TRIP FROM HELL
(or how NOT to do Las Vegas)
For the past 3 years, Palace has held a gathering in Las Vegas. It was the sight of the very first palace party and has been an annual event ever since. Due to circumstances, I've missed every Vegas party. I was bound and determined that this year I would NOT miss it.
A friend and I had been talking for sometime about the upcoming Vegas trip. The level of excitement and anticipation was exceptionally high in the plans (known and unknown). As the big day approached, it even reached higher levels.
Two days prior to our intended arrival date, my friend received notice that an emergency shift schedule would need to be covered. He was the only one available. That would mean, though, that he could not arrive in Vegas until Saturday, instead of the Thursday, as we planned. As disappointing as this was, it was understandable. Besides, we would still have Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
~THURSDAY~
On Thursday, the day I was due to leave to fly to Vegas, I called the airlines to make sure the flight was still on schedule. They informed me at that time that it had been delayed by over 2 hours. Well, okay... again it this was not anything to panic about. Except it was going to really cut the time close to arriving in Vegas in order to make the luau that was planned (and PAID )for that night's festivities. There was enough time to go to the mall for some last minute things. Maybe take a quick nap. Chill out before the flight (which, btw... I do NOT care to fly at all. Scares me to death.) I talked with my sister, who was to drive me to the airport, and told her of the delay.As time got closer once again, my sister came over, picked me up and off we started to the airport. I needed to make one more stop before taking off and asked her to please stop at the bank so I could hit the ATM for some spending money. We pulled up to the ATM at my bank, she rolled down her window, I gave her my VISA card, she inserted it, punched in the code, and got the money. She handed me the money and I tucked it away. She began rolling up her window and being the conscientious financial person that I am, I stated "Whoa.. wait a minute. You didn't get my receipt." She then rolled down her again, got the receipt and handed it to me. I tucked this away, as well. Then finally... off we go to the airport.
As I arrive at the ticket counter, I am informed that there has been yet another delay. And I was given at that time, a ticket voucher for $10.00 to be used at the food court. Okay, fine. Another delay. This is still not big deal. I WILL get to Vegas someday. As long as I was there by Saturday, there was no need to panic. And as it turned out, the bar was directly across from my departure gate. How convenient. So into the bar I went to wait out the delay. While in the bar, we are all informed (twice more, actually) of further delays. No problem. No panic. I will just sit there and drink my wine, listen to the conversations around me, and patiently wait.
Hooray!! Our plane landed and was about to be opened for our loading. I went to pay my bar tab with my food court meal voucher..... nope, had to be cash. "Hmm.. but I have this $10.00 voucher that HAS to be used tonight, my plane is about to leave, no time to get anything to eat, haven't eaten all day, all these wines are starting to get to me, I've missed the luau and all the food in Vegas, can't you take the voucher?" "Nope." Okay.. fine.
Finally... on board... about to take off... heading to VEGAS!! Ohhh boy! Here we go!! LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!
I kinda sorta remember taking off. I think I slept the entire way, though. Even slept right through the little snack that was served. I do remember muttering to myself "Dear Lord, let this plane land". The two friends that were on the same plane as me told me later that I wasn't asleep. I was passed out. This falsehood is still under investigation.
Now we've landed. The plane in one piece. Myself in one piece. Wonderful. From this point, until we reach the registration desk at the hotel, it is all rather blurry. I do recall putting a quarter in a slot machine at the airport and winning a $10 silver coin. It was really quite pretty in its plastic case. One quarter netted me $10. Look out Vegas, I'm going to put you on your ear!
Somehow I now find myself standing at the hotel registration desk. Yes, they have my reservation, and my room is all ready. How would you like to pay? I open my little case to get my VISA card, the same card I used to guarantee the room months prior to my arrival. Uhhhh.... where is it? Tearing through my little case, my purse, the ticket folder, checkbook, camera case I discover that it's gone. Thinking very hard (which, considering the state of mind that I was in at the time was no easy task) it dawned on me that I did not remember my sister giving the card back to me when we were at the ATM. In fact, I did not recall even seeing her pull the card back out of the slot.
I informed the desk that they had my card number, couldn't they just use that? No, they had to have the physical card. "WHAT?? I don't have it. But you HAVE the number to it. Why can't you just use that?" No, they had to have the physical card so they could take a photo static copy of it. "But what if I had not made it in tonight? Or tomorrow night? Wouldn't you have charged that room onto my card? Isn't that the reason you took the VISA for guarantee in the first place?" Yes, ma'am, we would have. "Then WHY can't you use it now??" We have to have the physical card to make charges on it since you have arrived. "Oh man... just pretend I'm not here!"
Luckily, I stopped at that ATM machine and took out some pocket money. I had enough to pay for the room for one night. At least they said they would hold the room until the following day so that I could make other arrangements.
The rest of this night is VERY, VERY fuzzy. Rumors told the next day contained stories of my running into my closed hotel room door - twice, taking two rolls of quarters to play the machines and trying to win on a change machine. I still believe these are all false, and I have yet to see any solid proof of any of it.
~FRIDAY~
First call I needed to make was to work. I needed the direct phone number of my banker. Okay, why won't my room ring out to a 1-800 number? Call the desk and let's find out. I need a WHAT? Credit card? You're afraid that I'll run up a huge phone bill??? On 1-800 numbers???? Oh man.. here we go again. Well, I'll just use my calling card. Wow... I had that card! My office says -"How's the trip, Kat?" "Don't ask"After numerous attempts, I finally reached my bank (two hour time change... forgot about that). "Don't worry about the card. After 15 seconds the ATM machine will suck it in." Oh good. One great piece of news. Then they tell me to find out if the hotel knows of or has a Western Union office. "Okay, I'll call you back."
Hmmm... where is the office? Let's just go back here to the change window and see if they can help. "See the escalator over there by the crap table? Take that to the 3rd floor." Oh, okay. Reaching the 3rd floor... no offices seen. Ask someone on the 3rd floor. "Sorry, I don't know of any offices on this floor." Ask another. ""Sorry, I don't know of any offices on this floor." Went from one end of the third floor to the other. No same reply. No offices on the 3rd floor. "Well, heck.. where IS the hotel office?" "Hmm.. not sure. Maybe you could ask the change counter on the lobby floor." Oh good Lord.
Over the next several hours, I must have walked 200 miles from my room on the 16th floor down to the lobby. From the lobby to the hotel office WHICH by the way is on the 5th floor. Found the office, found the Western Union office (note: The Western Union office for the Hotel was the change counter on the Lobby floor), made several more calls between the bank and WU Office. During these calls, my banks informs me "Well, Kat, you need to fax us a request and your signed authorization." Fax?? I'm in Vegas. Sorry, I don't have my fax on me right now. "Try the hotel office. Maybe they have one you can use." *back to the 5th floor* "Yes, ma'am, we have a fax you can use. $5.00, please."
Eventually, the bank informs me that the money has been sent. However, all they could wire was $400.00. "FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS?? FOR 5 DAYS IN LAS VEGAS????" More than half of that would be going for the room. "That's all we can wire to you right now." Okay... fine, just get me my money.
"Western Union - may I help you?"
"Yes, my bank is wiring me money, has it arrived"
"Name please"
*gave name*
"Yes ma'am. Your money is here and ready to be released. Where would you like it sent?"
"Imperial Hotel"
"Very good. All you need is proper ID"
"Okay. I have my Texas Driver's license"
"That will work just fine. Thank you."
*hang up*Back up to my room to get my license. YES, this part of the nightmare is almost over. Wait....where's my license? WHERE IS MY LICENSE???? The only license I have with me is an expired driver's license which I found tucked in the back of my checkbook. Well, certainly this will work. After all, it has my picture on it. All they are looking for is positive ID, right?
"Western Union - may I help you?"
"Yes ma'am. I have had some money wired from my bank and......"(before I finish)
"Name please"
*gave name*
"Yes ma'am. Your money is here and ready to be released. Where would you like it sent?"
"Imperial Hotel"
"Very good. All you need is proper ID""Well, that's why I was calling back. All I have with me is an expired driver's license. Will that work?"
"I can not authorize the release of this money until you have proper ID. You'll need to check with the Western Union office to verify that they will accept your expired driver's license as ID."
"Okay.. fine."
*hang up*
I trudged back to the lobby, to the change counter and to the hotel's Western Union office.
"No ma'am. We need current positive ID." But this is ALL I have! "Sorry, ma'am. Rules." Okay... NOW what? "Well, you could have the bank put on a test question. That way no ID is needed at all." (why wasn't I told this 10 phone calls ago?)
Back up 16 floors to my room to call the bank again. "They need a test question added." "Oh, okay. No problem."
A half hour later -
"Western Union - may I help you?"
"Yes ma'am. I have had some money wired from my bank and......"(before I finish)
"Name please"
*gave name*
"Yes ma'am. Your money is here and ready to be released. Where would you like it sent?"
"Imperial Hotel"
"Very good. All you need is proper ID""I don't have proper ID with me at the moment and".....(before I finish)
"I can not authorize the release of this money until you have proper ID and ".......(before THEY finish)
"NOW WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would you PLEASE turn off those recorded replies and just listen to me for ONE MINUTE! Has my bank called and added a test question to the money yet?"
"Oh.....*papers rustle*.... yes ma'am, they have. I am releasing your money and it will be sent to the Imperial Hotel for pickup within 2 minutes."
"Thank you"
*hang up*
Back to the lobby, to the change counter and the hotel's Western Union office. "Yes, your money is here. What is the test question?" (okay Kat, you BETTER get this right). "Yes ma'am, that's it. Here's your money." I never knew the color of money could look so good. First stop - hotel registration. I may go hungry, but I'll have a roof over my head.
Well now... that was one day shot. Surely nothing more could happen.
Friday night went by without any trauma. Except for the fact that the Star Trek adventure that I had planned on taking turned out to be a flight simulation. The same type of "rides" that cause me to lose my lunch. No thanks. I'll just sit here and gawk at these ferriages and klingons.
Back to the hotel. Play a little slot. Head to bed. YES! This day is over. Tomorrow the world will be right once again. My friend will be arriving! Sleep.... yes.... I need sleep...........
~SATURDAY~
Having no idea what time my friend would be arriving, I didn't want to leave the hotel for fear I might miss his arrival. The morning and afternoon went very smoothly (in comparison to the previous two days). Played a little casino, went to the pool and laid out in the sun, kept checking my messages. The day was getting late and the party would be starting soon. Up to the room to shower and get ready.*Ringgggg* Work schedule change, my friend won't be coming. Oh, perfect. Just perfect......................
There is a great deal more to this portion of the story, however due to it's very depressive qualities, I will by-pass it all for now.
~SUNDAY~
Now what? The plane doesn't even leave until Monday night. Well, let's just mope around and be depressed, shall we?By the time that Sunday night rolled around, I had to somehow find a way to get myself up out of bed and go do something. I knew how much my friend enjoyed playing craps, so I figured "okay... go try this."
With my next to last $20 in my hand, I stand at this one crap table that seems to be very populated. It's noisy, people shouting, clapping, the pit crew carrying on with the people. This looks like a good place to go. Now... how do you play this game?
I stood in-between three men named "Joe". With their assistance, they not only told me what bets to place, but why. Hmm.. okay. I can learn this. Wait.... why did I just get chips shoved in front of me? "You won". (I did??) "Yes, the bet you just laid down doubled." (oh my.. now this is easy money).
Over an hour later, the same gentleman that was rolling the dice when I joined the table was still rolling. My paltry little $20 had grown into two rows of chips. No wonder my friend likes this game. Could it get any easier? And as it is with most things that will net someone quick, fast, easy money, I got greedy. I started doubling my bets. Placing chips on a few long shots.
The table was charged with so much energy. Everyone at the table had gotten swept up into the game. The pit crew had gotten swept up in the game (or at least gave the impression they were). The cocktail waitresses were bringing me my wine in an actual GLASS instead of a plastic cup (as they had been doing at the slot machines). Now THIS was class.
Point after point after point was being made by the roller. Chips coming in faster than I could pick them up. The pit crew watching out for me to make sure all my hard ways continued to be covered. They called me Kat! I belonged here. This was MY night. This was MY table. Okay Vegas.... come on... YOU OWE ME!!!!
Ooooooooooops...... a 7 before the point was made. Crap... that wasn't suppose to happen. As I looked down at the table, and I watched the pit crew whisk away all the chips that were laying there, I then realized that his 7 just cost me close to $400.00. Well, that's okay. I still had two rows of chips up above. It was still more than my original $20. Come on.. next roller. Step right up and let's go again!
Ooooooooooops........ next?
Ooooooooooops........ next?
Ooooooooooops........ next?
Okay.. my turn. Put those bones right here. Get them out the hands of the feather merchants. Come on, Baby.. momma needs a new pair of shoes!! *TOSS* Ohhh, cool. A 7!!
Toss again... point to make 5. No problem. Visions began to swell in my mind. They were not visions of sugarplums, but the lyrics to an old "Guys and Dolls" song - "Luck Be A Lady". Picking up the dice, rolling them between my thumb and fingers (only one hand... I found out the hard way that if you touch the dice with two hands, the pit crew would get awfully upset). This is it... let's go for a long run! *TOSS* Huh?? What you mean a 7? Well, Crap.
Dice to the other end of the table now. And as the next shooter started his routine, I noticed that I had lost my 3 Joes. Wonder when they left? And more importantly... WHY? Okay, come on new shooter....time to recoup the losses!
Two hours later.... and two very shrunken rows of chips, I finally gave up. However, I did walk away from that table with $100+ and the memories of a new experience. Not bad for a $20 investment. Although it didn't come even close to dispelling the disappointment of my friend's absence, it did take my mind off my own misery for a while.
Off to bed.
~MONDAY~
Oh good. Monday. Time to get ready to go home. The plane was not due to leave until late in the afternoon, but at least that night I would be sleeping in my own bed and surrounded by my own comforting things.The day progressed slowly. Very uneventful, thank goodness. That is, until we reached the airport.
The travel companions that had flown in with me were also flying out. We stood at the check in counter, and the airlines could not find one of them on the manifest. "But I have my ticket right here WITH the confirmation number. What do you mean I'm not on the manifest? I got out here on this ticket, why am I now lost?" After a lengthy discussion and going through some needless delays, the airlines found the problem and we then boarded the plane to come back home.
While in the air, we flew through a horrible storms. The plane pitched, dropped, jumped and caused half my hair to turn grey. Once we touched down, and stood at the carousels to get the luggage, the very sad, unfunny thought occurred to me - to top this weekend off, I'll bet they lost my luggage.
~EPILOGUE~
The next day I called the bank to see if my VISA card had indeed been sucked into the ATM machine. They did not have it. It was no where to be seen. The card had to be cancelled and a new replacement created. After almost 3 weeks, I received the new card.If anyone ever asks me if I'm going to be attending another Vegas party, I can say this without one single doubt:
"ARE YOU NUTS????"